A month?? Already??

It has been a month since my last post. I really did not mean for such a time gap in between posts, but life sort of got in the way. Let's talk about it!

Less than a week after we celebrated Hannah's life, the moving company came and spent that following Thursday and Friday boxing up our entire lives. Then we had the weekend to spend in that house, the last home we will ever live in that will have ever known our girl's footsteps, laughter, tears, etc. And then on Monday, they came and moved everything out. We spent that night, the next four actually, in a hotel in Spring Lake. Then Zach left command, and the next day, we got on the road.

We spent three days driving to central Texas, where I got a week with wonderful friends and I found a good bit of peace while we were there. We took the kids to San Antonio and Austin. We ate kolaches from West, and we just tried to remember how to breathe a bit more normally.

After Texas, we spent another three days driving up to Park City, Utah. Zach and the kids had a ski trip planned with my in-laws well before Hannah's death, so we kept that plan in place. It did the kids a world of good, and I think it did for Zach, too, even if it was difficult for me. That's okay, though. It wasn't bad, just a lot of time alone with my thoughts because I'm not one to throw myself down a mountain.

We had originally planned to go through Tahoe and the Donner Pass to get from Utah to California, but the blizzard that went through there changed our plans, and we wound up driving down through Vegas and Barstow. We finally made it to Monterey on the 4th of March, signed for the house and got the keys on the 5th, and our stuff got here on the 6th. I've spent almost all of my time since then unpacking, organizing, and trying my damndest to make this place feel like home. It doesn't, not for me, but I'm not sure I would feel like that about any house right now. I'm healing, but it is a process, and I'm trying so hard to show myself a lot of grace.

We have taken the kids down onto the old wharf, and we spotted some seals and sea otters. We also took them to the Monterey Aquarium. That was fun, but if I'm being honest, Atlanta did it better overall, and the stingrays are much friendlier at the North Carolina Aquarium.

Connor has started school, although he is now beginning a two-week long spring break. (Um, excuse me, Cali, wtf....) But we have him signed up for various activities after the break and he's excited about those, namely basketball three nights a week and a Lego engineering club once a week. He may also be starting equine therapy (as opposed to talk-only grief therapy).

Taylor spends her days hanging out with Mom and reveling in her ability to monopolize the Xbox while her brother is at school. As for Zach, he is back at work full time and has begun the arduous journey of learning Japanese at the Defense Language Institute. I've applied to a couple of programs here, one for a photography certificate, and another for a second bachelor's, this time in Japanese language and culture. We'll see if I can make either of those shake out the way I want them to.

And of course, last but not least and certainly not forgotten, Emma. She stayed in Fayetteville to finish the semester. Leaving her broke something in me, and I struggle daily with the urge to pack her up and move her home where I can keep her safe. She's finishing her spring break now, she spent it with my family in New York and had a wonderful time. I was thrilled she went, and I can't wait for her to come visit us here.

The big first step into our new adventures has been taken. We are piecing ourselves back together, and working towards finding peace and building a new normal from the ashes. Some days I'm not sure it will work, and others I swear I can almost feel my girl cheering me on from the other room. Here's to healing, finding peace, recreating ourselves, and building a new normal.